The block was filled with children
Metal fence pole met the concrete sidewalk
Stood for home
The games began at dusk
Hide and seek until one by one the children let go of the fence pole
And went home

God did me a favor and made you sick that day
Shut up, shut in
You chose to stay inside yourself
Did not come out and play with us
I missed you
I wanted to chase you around the block again
I wanted to find you
Before you found home

Without you I made a new friend
We drew hopscotch circles with pink and blue sidewalk chalk
Tossed stones and stories until we fell to the ground laughing
He asked if he could chase me
I threw another stone instead

You did me a favor and stood motionless
Changed the game to freeze tag
When your favorite was red light green light
Cheating me every time
Desire overwhelming when you yelled green
I did not fathom the distance between us
I thought I could reach you
Before you found home

In spite of you I played along
In plain sight shared our secrets with my new friend
Tossed stones and stories until we fell into each others’ arms
He asked again if he could chase me
I ran away from you instead

I did myself a favor and bought ten red balloons
Lay flat on my back near home
And let them go, one by one
Chanting with each release
He loves me
He loves me not
Understanding the progression and knowing full well the outcome
I needed to let you go
Before you found me
Alone on the sidewalk again
The game of hide and seek finally over

The Salmon Sisters

I want to be one of the Salmon sisters
I want to float in a tube
Down the river all afternoon
Hand in hand
With my sisters of all old ages
After noon when our work is done
Which is different from your work
Dearie
Just housework
I want to be one of the Salmon sisters
I want a man who loves me
Enough to drop me
And my sisters
And our big black tubes
Into the river
And kiss me goodbye like on our first date
And drive bend after bend
After bend
To meet the sisters wet
And ferry us home
Wrapped in terrycloth
I want to be one of the Salmon sisters
Floating down the river together
For over fifty years

Miscarried

Wrapped around each other
Holding hands
Floating together with enough time
And life in us that we had
Fingers
And toes
Moving together
Never more than inches apart
Never fighting for space
Searching for fingers
And toes
Not yet aware of
You
Me
Her
We were something and touching
Always touching
Holding hands
Fitting together perfectly until
You were gone
There was only me
Only me I’ve ever known when thoughts
Were formed only me
So strong
Never giving a second thought to anyone
Else sharing
Any part of my pre-existence
You were gone
Every loss I feel so magnified
By what I never realized until
One day when I was wrapped
Hand in hand around another
Another
Positioned as we were inside her
Only then did I rest
Only then did I cease to exist again
Only then did I remember where I was
Next to you
Inside her
Clear to me now
Why I need to hold another hand
Why I need to hold another close
Why every loss I feel so very deeply
Why I need to save my other twin

Taken for a Ride

The old boarded up carousel in Asbury Park
Comes back to life
Visions of my father standing on horseback
Up and down
Leaning out and over
Over and over again
Pulling rings from the dispenser
One after another
Never a brass one
I, too, lean out and over
Up and down
Over and over again
Men dispensed
Pulling
One after another
Never a brass one
Too much time
Too much change expended
So we moved on instead
To the fun house
I, too, see myself in many mirrors now

As stated on the Web site: Fray Cafe is an evening of true, personal stories told live. This event took place on Sunday 14 March in Austin, Texas, as part of the South by Southwest Interactive festival, hosted by Kevin Smokler.

Just scroll down and find my name! http://www.archive.org/details/FrayCafe10Austin

And yes, it’s very true.

Handled with Care

I tattooed your call letters
On my pale blue forearm
Pierced my aging flesh
With your favorite fishing lure
Sliced my rough heel open on littered glass
While dredging the Hudson river
With the fine mesh stocking
You removed from my fleshy thigh
In careless haste
Then cast aside
Mutilations
Bled all over my favorite clothing
Ruined
Because, of course
I forgot to read the care instructions
I should have known not to wash the open wounds
Together
With the salty tears

Many thanks, again, to the fly boy.

Many thanks to Professor Eleyni for critiquing, suggesting edits, and encouraging me to go to audio — because he has always loved my performances.

The sky held the dead for me
Souls of men I had loved and lost
Souls of men who had loved me
No heaven or hell in my realm
Just sky
Souls wander without purpose
Without direction

Visualizations oversimplified
Men in trite white gowns
No angel wings, but turn up the audio
Idle chatter, gossip among the gods
Yes, she was beautiful
Yes, she loved me hard
Yes, I loved her above all others

A grandfather who left me
Bewildered and alone
On my toddler’s tricycle
A young lover who hit a land mine
Having tasted me sweet
That same morning
A brother (with severed head)
And nephew who never knew
What hit them or why
A favorite cousin who blew smoke rings
With the cigars I smoke now
To keep the scent of him alive
A father, who taught me how to read the water
Who will never again help me navigate

Because of this
Because of them
I have feared the sky

How can I possibly face the loss
Of my one unconditional love?
Not man, but woman
Closest/dearest/same-as-me/mermaid sister
I will not see my sister in my sky
I swear, I must, I will change my sky
She will not walk with my men

If I have to change the world, I will
If I have to change the way I see the world, I will
I did, with faith and trust in a man
I hardly loved
I challenged the sky
A man with a kind enough heart
To take on my fear without loving me
Without knowing my men, my sky, my stories

He says: Breathe
He says: Look
He says: Let me see your hands
My hands? No
Let me see your sky

The sky holds no ghosts
The clouds are just water
No one walks there

I walk on this earth, with my sister’s hand in mine

The students had one week to complete the story and each needed to post at least seven times during the week. I used the Twitter search feature to follow the story throughout the week, and one of the students compiled his feed and posted the complete project in PDF on the course site.

The project rules were adapted from the Collective Storytelling group on Tribe:

1. In order to add to the story, you should read it from the beginning to the point that it leaves off (each time you post).
2. No denying!!! You may not ignore information that has been presented, nor may you have a character change his/her mind, wake up from a dream, or say, “Just kidding,” unless it’s essential to the plot line.
3. Wild/crazy/imaginative elements are, of course, welcome, but they should fit the previously established style of the story.
4. No derailing a story for your own amusement.
5. You may not post back-to-back.
6. Each post should describe only a moment and not go on to tell the whole story. That would defeat the purpose of the game!
7. Be kind. Don’t send messeges or post threads and criticize someone’s writing. That’s not why we’re here. If someone posts something that doesn’t fit, take it as a challenge and try to incorporate it back into the story.

It wasn’t until this year, when I became a part-time resident of the CNY area, that I became aware that there’s more than just lake-effect snow. There are favored snowbelt locales!! And I’m so proud that I even know that one of them is the Tug Hill Plateau! Yeah, that’s about all I know.

Am shocked when I look at the radar map for precipitation in the area. It’s like the grey cloud that hung over Eyore or something. Band of snow RIGHT on top of Syracuse.

I feel for you CNY folks while I’m here in my little Capital district with only minor snow squalls. And am for once pleased to be out of favor!